Figments of my Imagination
by Opal Koboi and Emerald eyes
Summary: Lily said she was going to explain what she meant, that she was going to return... But it's been too long for James to handle and he is falling apart... A twoshot fic, LJ, could be considered canon. Rated for mild adult material...
1. Ghost Of The Past

**Ghost of the Past**

'Wonderful weather' thought James sarcastically as he stared out of the cracked, dust-covered window, barely making out a few lights which sourced from a few houses in the distance.

The weather suited James's mood perfectly, though; everything dark and sorrowful with occasional bursts of thunder and lightning.

'It has been over two months and still no sign of her'.

He could count to the second he had last seen her, saying goodbye which neither of them presumed could be the last one...

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"I don't understand why you want to go on this mission so badly" James stated, not for the first time, trying to distract Lily from packing her bag.

"It's just like any other mission," he continued, walking around the queen-sized bed towards Lily, who was standing by the open wardrobe. "Ridiculously dull, unbelievably unnecessary and frankly just a-"

"'Bunch of pawns, gathered together at the outskirts of Nowheresville'" completed Lily, not letting James faze her in the slightest as she took out three pairs of tight, black pants and threw them backwards, straight into her bag. She sighed slightly as she surveyed her bag, trying to block out her boyfriend's feeble attempts at persuasion.

"Come on, Lils," he tried again, leaning against a light-blue painted wall to his right. "You know that idiot Fudge won't let women go out on actual missions".

"So you keep reminding, Mr. Auror," said Lily with a tone of impatience with him for being overprotective, and bitterness at the truth in his words.

"You know as well as I do, that none of the things you hoped would happen after you got a qualification to practice Law Enforcement, will actually happen" he kept pressing, hoping to get her to snap at him and start a fight and, as a result, miss her team's portkey.

But Lily just fastened the straps of her bag and swung it over her shoulder. She sighed slightly, again, as she turned to face James with a determined expression.

"I know you're just trying to get me to miss the portkey, James, don't try to trick me. I took the same courses you did, so I know the techniques and codes". With that said, Lily walked pass him and out of their bedroom.

James wasted no time to literally jump after her and engulf her in a prisoning hug.

"Don't go," he whispered softly into her ear, not letting go or having any intention to. He bent down slightly and began trailing soft kisses from her ear-lobe to her pulse point, desperately trying to get her to stay and getting into the mood himself. He knew he won when he felt her shiver, as he pressed his lips more roughly into her skin.

"I'm going on this mission whether you like it or not"

And suddenly Lily was no longer in his arms, since she managed to somehow slip out of them, picking up her wand from the counter and putting it in her back pocket. James rolled his eyes, momentarily distracted from the task at hand, as he recalled that Lily only began putting her wand in her back pocket at the beginning of Auror training, purposely trying to get the Head-Auror, Alastor Moody, to snap.

James was snapped out of memory-lane by the sound of Lily's bag's zipper being zipped up rather roughly. He stared at her closely, trying to detect some sort of emotion in her expression to use as a means of persuasion... but other than peaceful wonder and a spark of confusion, there was nothing in her expression which could he could use.

He sighed, defeated, but with a drowning sense of dread and silently cursed Crouch for assigning him to guard St. Mungo's, while he felt he should be out fighting. His skills were being wasted...

"Okay, I'm ready" said Lily, looking quite excited, as she turned to face James again. Her expression softened at the sight of him looking so concerned and anxious.

"Hey" she said softly, walking over to him and cupping his cheek in her hand. He looked into her eyes and she almost gave in, but she knew she couldn't.

"I'll be back soon" she muttered reassuringly, caressing him with her thumb.

"But there will be another mission" he replied, just as softly, running his right over her back soothingly, while his left hand remained fixed at her waist.

"Well, actually..."

James's eyes narrowed, suddenly alert, staring into his girlfriend's eyes, trying to place that weird glint which took residence in them. He opened his mouth to question her, but she began speaking before he could utter a word.

"I'll tell you some other time".

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And without another word, only a kiss which left him wanting more, she left.

James sighed and once more looked up from his third bottle of firewhisky and out of the window, trying in vain to make out corporal shapes in the distance through the dust and the thick crack he had caused himself a few nights earlier, after finally snapping out of his vegetative state and throwing a bottle at the window...

Only then did he realize the bottle he threw was one of Lily's perfumes which were impossible to fix with magic once broken, as a side-effect from the Sealing Spell. So he spent the following hour scooping up thebewitching scent of the liquidand fixing the bottle by hand, which resulted in quite a few scratches on his hands and arms, but it was worth it.

He closed his eyes, picturing his girlfriend (as of two years before then) sitting on the sofa with her legs beneath her, unknowingly twitching her nose in irritation as she read about Northeren Korea, her sense of justice kicking in...

And he smiled.

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**AN:** At one point, I considered writing this fic Christmas-fashion... about three seconds later, I remembered I know nothing about Christmas, so... yeah...

This was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but I have two Quizzes tomorrow and homework and I'm not allowed to stay up past twelve, so I better get to it (it's a bit past eleven where I live).

The second (and last) part, will be posted soon... I hope...

Please, R&R...


	2. Angel Of The Future

**Angel of the Future**

Waking up leaned up against a wall with his head on his shoulder did nothing to improve James's mood later that evening. He raised a hand to massage his aching neck as he tried to figure out why he woke up; a moment later, a loud thunder gave him the answer. He couldn't muster the strength to roll his eyes in annoyance, just blearily acknowledged the nuisance with a few silent yet colorful swears.

He suddenly wished it was still that week before Lily left, when they both happened to get a few days off and spend all day out, walking around and all night in, making love. They had developed the habit of staring at each other before exhaustion took over and they had to fall asleep, but Lily couldn't help laughing softly every other minute as she found that particular habit to be completely absurd. He smiled at the memory.

* * *

A lightning flashed, ignored, but James was snapped out of his musings with a startle when a particularly loud thunder was heard. He didn't know how long he lay there against the wall, but knew it had been at least a few hours.

Hating the bad taste in his mouth, he got up and halfheartedly walked over to the bathroom to brush his teeth. With reluctance he opened the door, not looking around any more than was needed as he picked up a toothbrush.

As always, he had picked up the wrong one.

James stared in fascination at the see-through gray toothbrush, getting caught up in the lights from the sparkles on it. He had often teased Lily about owning a glittering toothbrush, but he couldn't understand how he could've thought it to be childish; it was beautiful. A minute later, maybe more, James put away the toothbrush, grabbed his own and began brushing his teeth, still staring lovingly at the lights reflected from the sparkles. He thought it ridiculous how long it took him to tear his eyes away from the sparkles as he leaned against a windowpane some time later.

From the jump earlier, his senses were suddenly more alert than they were at any other time during the past couple of months. As he had begun losing concentration about a fortnight after Lily had left, he was ordered to take some time off. It wasn't until a month later when he learned from Sirius that it was Moody who had persuaded Crouch to give him a vacation until he could set his affairs in order. Basically, James reasoned, until Lily came back. Moody went off with a dozen other aurors to join Lily's group the next day.

He had had a spell of motivation that day, believing that Lily would be back soon and had convinced Sirius to come with him to Diagon Alley to get-

Everything went black as a pair of warm hands covered his eyes, with the contradicting coolness of a ring evident. Instinctively he reached behind him, grabbed the hands and twisted them in such a way that their owner was pressed against him. But his firm grip on the hands loosened in shock when his hazel eyes met startling bright green ones.

"Wow, you seem to be very excited" said the owner of the eyes and gave him a quick peck on the mouth before taking advantage of the loosened grip to slip away.

James stared speechless at his girlfriend's face as she moved towards the bag she had apparently laid on the sofa earlier. He watched silently as she rummaged around it, taking out random things occasionally.

"I got some action out on the field at first when Moody needed extra force, but I was assigned to healing duty not long after," she continued casually. "Dawlish was one of my patients," she added, rolling her eyes "even heavily drugged from all the potions he was given he still managed to act like his usual thinking-he-can-have-everything self".

Finally getting the feeling back in his legs, James walked - albeit slowly - to Lily, his eyes still wide, not quite sure if she was real or just a figment of his imagination.

"Although you wouldn't believe the stuff that comes out of people's mouths when they have no control over their words," she added with a slight giggle. "I found out Mango trees are considered the symbol of love in India. Also, Kingsley is the outspoken one when drugged – he spent the better part of an hour telling outrageous dirty jokes".

By then, James had gotten within three feet of her and leaned against the sofa, drinking in the sight of her folding the few shirts she had got out of the bag.

"… I suppose we should thank Sirius for that part though, since he insisted on telling his jokes every time we went to The Leaky Cauldron after work and his jokes are definitely not what you would call polite. Well, no one can expect more than Sailor-Swearing from a half drunk Sirius Black – even from a sober Sirius Black for that matter-"

"Why are you here?"

Lily lifted her head and looked at her boyfriend's stunned face, blinking a few times in confusion of the odd question.

"I meant – why are you here so easily?" he corrected, choosing his words haphazardly and hoping she would understand what he was trying to say. "You were gone for two months".

She just observed him for a moment before answering. "Well," she eventually said slowly "I suppose that would look like a lot from your point of view, but since I was constantly busy I didn't notice it was so long-".

"I was worried," he said simply.

She gave him another look with a hint of astonishment. "I told you we weren't allowed to send owls or anything," she said sympathetically, beginning to move towards him. "I'm sorry you had to worry, but everything was fine".

He took a step back, not sure of his emotions. He couldn't decide if he was angry or confused or scared even; he only knew that in the chaos of emotions there was happiness. He was definitely happy and since that was the only emotion he recognized he decided to focus on it, taking a step towards her and another and another before stopping an inch away from her, looking into her wondering eyes. He grasped her face in his two hands and stared at her, taking a long time to contemplate her nose or cheeks, as if getting to know her all over again.

"I broke one of your perfumes," he said clearly, looking into her eyes.

Lily, still confused in the face of her boyfriend's behavior, just nodded. "Ok. I have others".

"I'm sorry," he added, knowing it was important that she know that.

"I know," she replied, looking into his eyes and waiting for him to say something.

As he looked at Lily, James began feeling overwhelmingly tired. Getting himself worked up and strained for the past two months wore him out and he felt like he could fall asleep right there, standing up.

James looked at her face for a moment longer before practically collapsing, leaning in with his forehead against her shoulder. Lily seemed a bit bewildered, but figured she could talk to him about everything in the morning as she led him into their room, urging him under the covers and barely having the presence of mind to change her clothes before crawling in with him.

A ray sun poked annoyingly at James's eyes, like it did every morning for the past two months. His eyes fluttered open but remained half-shut in the face of the glaring sun.

Having no will nor energy to get up he stretched across the bed, noting how messy it was for he had not bothered to make it since Lily left. Clothes - some his, some hers - were strewn all over the room, exactly like it had been for the last two months. Depression resettled as James regained some focus. He sat up, looking around at the depressingly familiar scene.

Everything was the same. He remembered seeing her, feeling her and talking to her. Had it all been a dream?

He got up and walked to the door as quietly as possible, trying to catch any sound. He opened the door and looked around. Everything was still the same. With a sigh of depression, he leaned against the doorframe noting how tired this depression was making him. He closed his eyes and pictured her face, her hands, the fluffy socks she liked to wear around the house, her clanking the jars every morning.

His eyes snapped open. That hadn't been his imagination. He looked up at the kitchen door as the sounds of clanking got louder and louder. He quietly pushed open the door and his heart swelled at the sight of his girlfriend leaned against the counter, with the sun eluminating her from the open window behind her, as she sipped a pickle into a jar of chocolate spread. She looked up and smiled at him broadly.

"Good morning!" she beamed at him.

He didn't give himself a second to think before leaping around the counter and lifting her from the stool she was sitting on.

"Wow," she breathed out in disbelieve. "What's with all the energy first thing in the morning?"

He didn't reply as he beamed back, mesmerized by her as if he were falling in love with her all over again. He leaned in and attacked her neck, kissing and biting and relishing in her laughter. He turned his attention to her mouth and kissed her feverishly. He pulled away a moment later, not letting her go.

"You taste odd," James commented.

"Oh, thank you," Lily replied, faking indignation.

"You're eating pickles with chocolate?" he asked, looking at the jars in amused bewilderment.

"Yes," she replied, drawing out the word as if urging him to figure it out.

He turned to look at her and frowned slightly, bemused at her behavior.

"God, it's so weird saying it," she said laughing. She was still smiling as she took a deep breath and when she looked back into his eyes, she started laughing again.

"Lily," he said smiling, urging her to look into his eyes.

She looked up, took another deep breath and said clearly, "I am pregnant".

They stared at each other, just like during that blissful week, with Lily laughing every other minute; this time at James's stunned expression.

"Are you alright?" she asked, searching his eyes.

"It's like a broom crash," he muttered.

"What?" she stared him.

"How I can be completely miserable one moment and unbelievably happy the next," he replied, his smile widening.

Lily began laughing again and her laughter got even louder when James picked her up bridal-style and spun her around; he was more happy than ever for the amazing woman in his arms, the baby growing inside of her and the ring on his bedside table.

* * *

**AN:** I know it drags on and on and on. I just couldn't find a place to end it. I'm exhausted - been working on this for hours. Hope you like this :-) 


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